Maybe I'm just neurotic. Maybe I'm not. Maybe it's actually something that is actually bothering me and something to genuinely get upset about. Or maybe people just don't really understand me.

I fucking hate this house. I hate it so much. It’s a complete impossibility for at least one day to go by in this house without some argument breaking out and everyone in the family becoming enemies. You know it’s actually really hurtful to see a sibling treat a parent like shit then see that parent completely break down right in front of you. How the fuck are you supposed to react to that? I have never been scared of my parents doing anything very extreme but today I don't know what the fuck happened. I don’t care if you laugh at me and say I'm stupid and blowing something completely out of proportion or getting worked up at the slightest things but trust me you don't have a fucking clue how I feel.

I'm quite scared that something serious is going to happen here. I hate it when my family argue; I just don't see what the need is. But today I’ve realised that everyone in this house is stupid. Even me. For the sake of not naming these people I’m going to keep them known as A, X and Z.

A is a selfish prick who constantly has to borrow money from people and get them to do things just so that he can hold his head above water. I gave A £100 last September because A had no money when A came back from America because A didn't have a job. A's had a job since around November. I'm still waiting on that £100 which is a fucking joke. But I've realised A’s a selfish prick who only really gives a toss about A’s self and as long as A’s ok and fine it doesn’t matter if A has to take money from other people and let them land in deep shit so I’m not going to bother helping A unless A really needs it.

Another member of my house, X, happens to do too much around the house which means X’s just piling on the stress and give going to give X’s self a fucking heart attack. X just gives and gives to the A all the time which has left Z with no money to pay off bills and debts and stuff. So because A is a selfish prick who has no conception about money management and because X just gives A money all the time X is going to end up in deep water.

Then we have Z. Z isn’t stupid like the other ones. Z just ends up making things worse between X and A when they argue. Which happens like almost every week at least once. After all of the arguing Z ends up shouting at X and getting very angry at him which doesn’t really improve things. Z also doesn’t really help because Z constantly does fuck all around the house which leads to X getting stressed and more arguing breaks out. There is other stuff but I'm not really going to post that online for the whole world to read about.

Then we have me. I’m stupid because I actually do stuff for A when A asks and A does fuck all for me. I get pissed off at X when X tells me to do things and because I don’t jump up and do them instantly I get my fucking face destroyed for nothing. I get on rather well with person Z but when Z gets drunk Z becomes a complete prick and I end up arguing with him.

But today all hell broke loose. I’m not going to go into details cos I really cba but basically I have realised that this house is stupid. People don’t bother to think about things enough and they are really most of the time only out for themselves. They get worked up at the most ridiculous of things, they don't give a shit about how they talk to people, they verge on alcoholism, they do stuff that has no need, and they are all fucking pathetic just like me.

Oh well, I don’t really care what you think tbh. If you read this and think I'm stupid, pathetic or anything insulting then fine. Have your opinion. I honestly couldn’t really give a shit right now cos I’ve got a hell of a lot more important things to worry about that what some person sitting at a computer screen has to say about me. You can only really judge me if you know me and there are only a few people out there that really know me and really know how I am, how I react to situations etc. And also you don’t know shit about what has happened so if you knew that it would help. But that’s not any of your concern and there is only one person who is reading this blog who will know what has happened. Maybe they will understand. I might end up telling someone one day if I’m drunk cos I tend to spill things to people.